How to Talk with A Reluctant Partner About Living More Organized
You like to live a neat and tidy life. Where everything has a place and things end up back where they belong. You don’t have an over abundance of items and you think carefully about the value of things before you buy. Your partner however, frustrates you with how they live. They have piles everywhere and they have no rhyme or reason. Things don’t get put away because things don’t have homes, which also leads to over buying since they can never find anything. They tend to run late and projects never seem to get finished.
If this sounds like the dynamic at your house, here are some tips on how to communicate with your partner about living more organized.
Future Plan- As a couple, reconnect with one another on how to you want to live. How do you want your house to look? How do you want to spend your time in your home? What about how you spend your Money? Getting on the same page and creating space for each other to safely communicate their goals is the first and most crucial step to getting on the same page about organizing your home. When considering items ask yourselves “Does this take us closer or further away from our future goals?”.
Set Space Boundaries- Everyone has a different threshold for clutter and holding onto items. If you are the organized one and your spouse tends to be less organized, it is important to decide on zones in your home. Common areas should have cleanliness boundaries that everyone respects and upholds. Set an area(s) in your home where your partner can live their level of clutter. Maybe this means your partner has their side of the closet, garage or shed where they are free to live to their way.
Respect your Differences- Its important to respect one another. If you are finding it difficult and resentment is already building, this may mean there are deeper issues going on and it may be time to seek help from a marriage counselor.
Lead by Example- Role model the behaviors you want to see in your spouse. Once they see how consistent you are, and how the space is maintained, you might be surprised to see them change their habits as well.
Don’t Nag- No one likes to be nagged. If your spouse is not respecting your space, make sure you have come to an agreement on the areas in your home first. If you have then, gently remind them using I statements. Ex. “I feel very overwhelmed when our space gets like this” INSTEAD OF “you need to get this out of here because it is overwhelming.” This removes the blaming tone and helps your partner see its affect on you.
Get Help- A Professional Organizer can help be a neutral party in your home to help merge two different styles. We can help shed light on problem areas and offer solutions to help your home function more efficiently.
Ultimately we can’t make people do want we want, we can only communicate how we feel and what our needs are. As a couple, coming together on how you live in your shared space is crucial to keeping your relationship strong. Communicating from a place of love will show your spouse how much their habits effect you and will help them see some of the changes they can make to help everyone live happier.
Kait Hilton is a Home and Business Organizer located in the Washington, DC Area. Her Organizing company, HARMONie, helps takes the stress out of life through organization. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Click on our contact page to schedule your free consultation!
